And everything has changed, changed on its way, the way that i dont want to be, and i miss the old time, the time when everything's going exactly what i want. I really really want to go out of this-unexpected-life. Wanna end up all that problems. Feel tired with this. Give me back my wonderful life, God :"(

When i feel i'm not strong enough to solve my problem, i just need a shoulder to cry on and what i need is from my parent, especially my mom. thankyou mom, you're always there when i need you, for always support me, for always treat me like no one else does. for anything :')

"Someday, I promise I'll make you proud, dear my parent" 

Me and mine

My life may not be going the way I planned it

But, it is going EXACTLY the way GOD planned it.

Not of all things you've planned going the way you want it to be. that's life............
And now, i understand what does that quote means. really get it.
For all the things that has happened or might happen on my life, it's just about God's plan.
So much things we can learn from it. More mature, more better. It's a must. Perhaps, it's not as easy as its look like. someone said 'we never know how hard it is till we feel it' but  for sure, in this time my life is going on the-way-that-i-never-expected.
Unexpected result comes to my score on one subject, Pempolin. It makes my IP's score is so far with what i expected. Really burden me. Say it simple? Really not. Ask why? cause i think the result of my scores shows my responsibilty for my parents. it sounds like....i cant make them proud. Disappointed. Not because of the score that burden me, actually. it's just because, there's no transparancy sysetm of it. Not only me that too shock to know that but also my friends too. they are like "i can't believe it". yappp, dont know why i can get the unexpected result of that subject because my answer is almost same with others when the- final-exam. Too hard to accept, but i believe God has the best plan for me.
It's just one of much problems that's going on my life. there's much anything else. about my family, and then about my love-life, my friendship. And many more. Sometimes, i feel like i envy them, who has no matter like mine, have a-wonderful-life. Astagfirullah. then i think, God never gimme a problem that's over my capacity. Bismillah, with My Almighty God, Allah. I'm more than sure i can solve that much problems. Thanks for this life, God.
 "When you feel your life isn't going right, look that someone out there wanna have a life like yours" So, there's no reason to cry on, to regret about what has happened. When you feel so insecure, when you feel like nothing goes right, when you feel you wanna give up or...whatever, just Believe you're not alone. Allah is always beside us. Just be Patient, Everything will be beautiful at its time.

 "First thing that you have to do to make your dreams come true is Wake Up "

  Let's take Our Bright Future----------

Mama :")))

Kemarin, 19 November 2012 pas 7 hari kepergian mama. Tepat 2 minggu yang lalu mama menghembuskan nafas terakhir. tapi entahlah, syifa masih ngga percaya.

Jam 1 malem sebelum mama pergi meninggalkan dunia, mama masih sempet nelpon syifa tapi sangat disesalkan ngga syifa angkat. Mama mau ngomong apa ke syifa? Kata-kata terakhir? Maaaa, syifa nyesel selama mama sakit syifa ngga selalu ada ngedampingin mama, syifa harus balik ke nangor buat kuliah. doain syifa ya mah, meskipun mama udah jauh di surga sana tapi syifa ttp mau buat mama papa bangga. :(

Baru beberapa bulan yang lalu, papa baru aja pergi, kenapa mama cepet banget nyusul? mama udah terlalu kangen sama papa? maaa, syifa sedih. sekarang kalo syifa balik ke Jakarta, syifa udah ga bisa ketemu mama :"(

Syifa tau, Allah lebih sayang sama mama. Mama udah ketemu papa belom di surga? Semoga kalian bahagia selalu ya di surga sana. :) Cinta kalian bener2 dibawa sampai mati, makam mama sama papa sebelahan. 

Tapi ma, semenjak kejadian itu syifa selalu takut. takut sama hal-hal yang akan terjadi. Syifa sayang sama mama papa, syifa masih ngga percaya kalian udh ga ada. tapi insya Allah, syifa ikhlas yang penting kalian bahagia disana :) Umur emang ngga ada yang tahu. Ngga ada yang bisa memastikan apa yang akan terjadi nanti. Manusia ya emang cuma bisa berencana, dan Allah yang menentukan.

Mamaku yang cantik, tenang ya di surga Allah bersama papa. Doain semoga kita semua dpt berkumpul lagi di surga nanti. Aamiiin ya Allah o:)

Syifa sayang sama mama :"))) Maafin syifa ya ma :((

Without you

I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you

I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I
Without you

Without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you

Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged

Without you, without you

I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you

I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can't look, I'm so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you

Without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you

I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
Without you

Hai selamat bertemu lagi
Aku sudah lama menghindarimu
Sialku lah kau ada di sini

Sungguh tak mudah bagiku
Rasanya tak ingin bernafas lagi
Tegak berdiri di depanmu kini
Sakitnya menusuki jantung ini
Melawan cinta yang ada di hati

Dan upayaku tahu diri tak selamanya berhasil
‘pabila kau muncul terus begini
Tanpa pernah kita bisa bersama
Pergilah, menghilang sajalah lagi

Bye selamat berpisah lagi
Meski masih ingin memandangimu
Lebih baik kau tiada di sini

Sungguh tak mudah bagiku
Menghentikan segala khayalan gila
Jika kau ada dan ku cuma bisa
Meradang menjadi yang di sisimu
Membenci nasibku yang tak berubah

Dan upayaku tahu diri tak selamanya berhasil
‘pabila kau muncul terus begini
Tanpa pernah kita bisa bersama
Pergilah, menghilang sajalah lagi

Berkali-kali kau berkata kau cinta tapi tak bisa
Berkali-kali ku telah berjanji menyerah

Dan upaya ku tahu diri tak selamanya berhasil
Dan upaya ku tahu diri tak selamanya berhasil
‘pabila kau muncul terus begini
Tanpa pernah kita bisa bersama
Pergilah, menghilang sajalah
Pergilah, menghilang sajalah
Pergilah, menghilang sajalah lagi